How I Look: [1.12.08]

Stripped and exposed

Vulnerable to anything…everything

At this point I have nothing to lose

Except…you

The air I breathe isn’t satisfying

The water I drink isn’t reviving

My sunlight isn’t refreshing

The moonlight doesn’t even tell me secrets

Anymore…

I pour myself in the tub

And yet…I still feel dry and deserted

My heart beats at the pace of

An aging lonely man walking down

The street

Fading in the past

Nothing fits anymore

My shadow abandoned me

Along with my everything

One day I’m strong and on my two feet

The next I’m trying to keep myself together

Then finally I’ve fallen into a puddle

Left lifeless…

As the stars reflect on me

I notice how each one has

Their own story

All worth sharing

Mine worth hiding

Paths lay before me

The road I choose to take

Is my decision

I make another option

I choose to sit on the sidewalk

And watch?

Watch the trails go by…

I hide from confronting

My problems, pain,

But most of all…you

With the sky changing it’s shades

I lay on the edge and wish

I could be accepted by the sky

…that would be nice

Never being able to grow

Because every time I get a good start

I get cut down

Stripped and exposed entirely

It’s not how I looked when I was

All together

It’s how I look when I’m in pieces

I look pretty separate…

Rude Awakening: [3.23.08]

Hearing the heater crackle

Listening to the pipes’ harmonic song

Watching the shadows of the cars

Pass by my window

Smelling that can of ginger ale

Beside my bed

I look at the sun tip toe to the

Top of the sky

As the night fades

So does the heaters’ voice

And the pipes’ song dies away

My soul falls asleep with the

Shadows

As the mask of my life rises

With the sun

And as it shines on everything

Everyone never stares too hard

At the sun for fear of the pain to their

Eyes

No One Sees…

welcome to the lost and found [1.28.09]

this day didn't come to me ..
it left silently
.. without a single word .

haunted by the time
it took me ..
just to realize what i've always known .

the blame shouts in my ears
i cry for solace
but i can't hear the echo ..

the anger tempts me
to be what i never wanted for myself
so i let it soak just so i can feel empowered .

i risk it all with words
that i never meant to say
they fall on my knees
they rip my skin
they pull my hair
they beat my heart

where does it all go ?
it goes in a secret box where
those dreams lie .

he called and let my fears
drown in an ocean of tranquility
but it's deceiving
for my thoughts won't let go
of what i think i want
and when confusion roams
into what is not his
that is when chaos of mentality
makes this day horrifying

those bold words
i don't know
i have no idea
there is no way i can do this
i want out .

to live is to love
and to love is to live ..

the imbalance is not
between
lies ..
or denial .

laughter seems to be
the music of peace
but i laugh at this joke
.. it's funny .
how could someone be so lost
yet so complete ?

those answers are to be found
in a book
that makes no confound attire
for the mind .

fight to establish what is already known .