Guatemala's Meant to Be [2.14.09]

Hearing the tv play softly
I walk in to find my
great uncle flipping
back & forth
between a novela
and a game show
I sit down beside him
staring blankly
at the box lit
with a man screaming ,
running wild ,
excited that
he
won his prize .

After a moments silence
my great uncle
asks me
why I'm up so late .
I tell him I couldn't sleep

**
We stop at a
Citgo gas station
with a convenient store
.. how convenient
With the night only as
dark as the moon would
let it be
**
We walk into Denny's
and talk about our day
at the amusement park
With the night only as
dark as the moon would
let it be
-----------------------------
I come back
and see a lady
getting pointed at
with a gun
by a man who used to be
in love with her
They're inside
of the church

**
My great grandmother
the sister of my great uncle
is sleeping in the other room
what would I do without her ?
She is the breathe of fresh air
my family lives on
Without her
our souls sit the corners
collecting dust ..
**

My great uncle
a stranger to my heart .
However we both
understand each other
in silence .
The night unfailingly ends
and I'm trapped in
in my own memories
transfusion with vision
the TV fades
and I wake in the guest room ...

My Thoughts Drive Me Mad [Feb.]

Here alone with my people
they sit by my sides
one person stares at me
expecting me to fail .
however ,
the other sees ahead
never once looking back
at me .
I fail
to deliver
so I stand by and wait
until these persons
stop suffocating me
for while one
claws my skin
screeching in my ears
making it impossible
to breathe ,
the other pays no mind
to me so as to leave
me abandoned with death
Will I recover ?
from self pity ?
As this awkward silence
perturbs my every heart beat
I stare at the empty cup
while more & more people
fill the room
Silence left long ago
But I'm determined
to retrieve it
for i won't be brought
down easy
My nose is barely touching the wall
yet I feel it out of reach
so I grab hold the painting
on the wall
I jump out the chair
.. with drama
bye bye people
I'm done drinking water
A man bumps into
me while my anger escalates
He doesn't see the fire
blazing from my tongue .
His hand is crushed
from the slammed door
but I feel no remorse
because I'm sitting
in a cafeteria of a
hospital
Watching sick patients
look at me be healthy
just staring & strangling
my thoughts
So the people leave ..

Jumping Out the Window [1.31.09]

Windows open & close
but so do doors
so if I
jump out the window
would that make me
more adventurous
or would that be
out of the norm ?
He wants to be my hero
but I don't want
to be saved
cause I'm good as is
he says he wants the love
but the window's
closed
and the door is locked
and the other dude
made me lock myself
out of my own damn
house
Go home & stay there .

A Storyy About Me & a Guyy [1.31.09]

me: heyy buttface .
you : heyy loser .
me: guess what ?!
you: what ?
me: you suck ( i smile )
you: oh really ?
me: yea really .
you: ( powerful kiss )
how about now ?
me: mm ..
you: well .. ?
me: .. you still suck .
you: damn .
me: hehe ..

When I Grow Up [11.25.08]

Hi my name is Lisa Boyd
When I grow up
I want o be .. a poet
When I grow up
I want to be .. an artist .

..
I'm sorry
can you repeat yourself ?
I thought ..
I thought I heard you say that
I can't .
You don't think I can ?
.. I understand .
You don't think I can
because what I want to be
What I want to be
isn't you definition of success
But let me be clear
my potential is unlike the rest
and I will work until
I am the best .
My words illustrate art to the blind
my art create words to the mind
You don't think I can
because my "phase" won't pay the bills
Let me explain this
but wait
let your heart be still
for you will know the
history of my dreams
but only until
you realize the true art of this skill
the "hobby" of mine
began when I was a child
only a cub
unaware of its poetry
to the wild
Restrained to the limit of love .
like together
but to be together
you have to-get-her
on in this wild chase
of just words
spinning in a cycle
no control over this power
only when triggered
by an emotion or a flower
of tears ..
Tomorrow though ..
that all changed
The secrets of life
told me to wait
to put my dreams on pause
my soul slowly ripping apart
realities little gifts but for
what cause ?

..
Now have you come to understand
why "I can't "
.. be like you
I do not hold the responsibility
of your dream
falling bland
you voice is at the tip of
your hearts command
so much for I can't
cause' here .. I .. stand
I grew up
.. and I am a poet
I grew up
.. and I am an artist
My name is Lisa Boyd
It was a pleasure meeting you .

Tweety grew up [11.23.08]

So high this bird flies
spreading its wings
Holding & hugging the skies .
This bird goes on
down into the sunset
This bird colors it with its tears
Designing different shades
only to hide behind with fears
in its nest
this bird rests
and even though it falls apart
Never will this bird depart
because the cries
that it painted
will never be found
under another birds' skies
that this bird sees tainted
so long as this bird
finds its seeds

Alphabet Love / B : [11.17.08]

Basketball Love :
Bounce Bounce
. . . goes my heart
Pass
. . . goes our words
Swoosh
. . . goes that kiss
Buzz
. . . goes our love

Alphabet Love / A : [11.17.08]

Air Love:
The love that flies
with the wind
The only thing
that separates
me from
you .

The Balled of the Sick and Lovely [12.28.08]

The intensity in his green eyes
which then slowly yet quickly vanished .
When I reveal the truth of his lies
his heart cried the love that was banished .

Those sad thoughts carried over his voice .
My blood pressure rises at the thought
that never loving is my own choice ,
so he grabs his gun for that one shot

Attraction is not a way of love
for I fear the passion will decease .
But we know that we must let go of
the way we allow our pride to decrease .

Out Of Control : [2.17.09]

Oh look your out of control

cause' I'm not holding on to your security

not as long as what you'd think

in this sense of your perturbance

but I will hold your every thought

just because it makes you an insecure pity

to see you cause' a disturbance

just making a fool

out of our sanity

with your words tying into

all the things we wish we could do

but don't boast cause' I'll drop you from your safe zone

see cause' I own you

but not as my own

so I'll slide your wrists into cuffs of solitude

for your rivers always protrude into my desert

so desert me

am I not worthy of your desolate words ?
captivating the end of time
my time ending with the control I thought I had
sending images of sacrifice
that you would always fight
in the process of finding roots
to the tree you never grew
so that seed shoots
that love you never knew
you'll avoid the consequences
of what you'd like to call unreal
cause in your mind
my protection isn't a big deal
so I'll wait
behind the line
that swallows your lies
until I'll truly see
what's softer to me
but I'm not naive
I know I still have control
and I won't let you deceive
my right of this whole
.. thing
instead I'll let you walk away
with what little power to this big toll
and when you do
I'll be the one to say
"Oh look, your out of control . "

If Only My Heart [ 10.1.08 ]

Where should I go
if my heart
was to collapse
from a glance
... a look , a stare , a peek
if only ...

What should I do
if my heart
was to shatter
from a word
.. a conversation , a talk , a story
If only ..

What should I be
If my heart
was to fail me
from you
.. a hug , a kiss , a love
If only ..

Hallway Blues [9.8.08]

Holding my breath
for when you walk by
Counting the seconds
until you say hi
But instead you smile
and look straight ahead
I turn away quickly
feeling flushed & red
My mind wandering so aimlessly
That act was so wrong
Cause' we were so close
and now we're so gone ..

Child's Play [ october ]

Whoever said that
pride & jealousy
slept in the same bed ?

How did it come to
love & hate
being misconceived
and keeping each other
warm at night ?

What ever happened
to check the box
yes or no ?
who the hell added
but this and that ?

I remember when Jack & Jill
used to hold hands on the hill
but now they fight for the bucket of water
and it's like that still

Tell me why
they made a cure for
cooties in kindergarten
but in high school
it starts all over again ?

The love & hate
the lies & betrayal
the pride & jealousy
the rumors & gossip

mom & dad said wait
but i saw him
and my emotions
wouldn't debate

if forever was true
i guess it hasn't started yet

Elly's Aunt [2.6.09]

* Dedicated to Elliduesa and her Aunt *

This tear falls
on my shoulder
but not on my
cheek ..

is so soft
i lay my head on the
pillow ..

is my only comfort .

There are answers
in the window
but the sun is
hidden .

The voice I seek
lies under
maps ..

can't lead me
back to
you ..

i hope to see
soon .

I Don't Like You [2.6.09]

Nothing stops me
from
showing him
the reflection
of my heart
through
ways of satisfaction
only to my judgment

However ,
my skin is still
irritated and
his is drowning
in anxiety

yet
we both buy
masks
but his is
translucent

so i try
to attract
none of his
attention